There are two words you really don't want to hear when you're lying prone in a dentist's chair - root and canal. Unfortunately that's exactly the situation in which I found myself today.  Five days before I'm due to go away for six weeks, one of my molars decided it was time to play up. The other two words which you really want to avoid in the same sentence are toothache and holiday.

I've been trying to convince myself for a few days that there really wasn't a problem but when the paracetamol didn't work any more I knew I had no alternative but to ring the dentist.  The only problem is that my dentist is very good at what he does which means getting an appointment requires a long waiting time. I couldn't believe my luck when I got a phone call saying he could see me in his lunch break to assess the situation. 

After poking, prodding and taking an X ray, the dentist diagnosed irreversible pulpitis and he asked how I felt about some root canal work.  Believe me, there's no good answer to that question. All the pulp in my molar had to be removed, the canals filled with gutta percha and then the tooth will eventually be crowned. For the moment all he could was clean out the tooth, fill it full of steroids and anti-bacterials and do the rest when I return from holiday.

No matter how you dress it up, the idea of having your teeth drilled and explored with an endodontic reamer is the stuff of nightmares. Luckily I had no idea that was what was involved when I signed the consent form which tactfully avoided details of the tools that would be used.

I'm a sucker for googling odd corners of medical research and I discovered an academic journal article on 'anaesthetic efficency in irreversible pulpitis.' The opening sentence reads, "Inferior alveolar nerve block has a high failure rate in the treatment of mandibular posterior teeth with irreversible pulpitis." No shit Sherlock, I could have told them that in a lot fewer words. What I found extraordinary about the research was that they had found 66 volunteers to take part in the study. I mean who volunteers to have their teeth drilled and report on the pain they endured because the anaesthetic didn't work effectively? I suppose we should be grateful for their selfless efforts and contribution to important research that tells us that root canal surgery is a bugger.

I genuinely felt sorry for the dentist. No matter how many times he injected me, the result was, to use an euphemism, sub optimal. Eventually he had to push the needle down into the molar and inject the pulp directly with anaesthetic.  It wouldn't have been so bad had it been just one root canal but there were three. Each had to be drilled and reamed and all the nasty stuff removed. To add to the unpleasantness the dentist cheerfully informed me that two of my canals were 'gushing' blood. 

Finally the ordeal was over and when I reflected on it afterwards I realised that the pain I endured probably lasted in total for less than ten seconds over an 80 minute procedure. It was a small price to pay for having a potentially serious situation dealt with. I also reflected that this is also an ordeal for the dentist who has no choice but to get every last bit of material out of the tooth no matter how difficult that process is. Every time I have had dealings with medical professionals I am humbled by the fact that they are bringing decades of experience and all their skill to solve my particular problem. In my case the dentist had to rearrange appointments and work through a lunch break to sort me out. I could not have been more grateful.

In looking for stock photos to illustrate this article I discovered that almost without exception, dental patients are always shown thoroughly enjoying the whole process with smiling faces and relaxed jaws. Indeed some of the images suggested a rather kinky date vibe rather than a drilling-into-a-nerve vibe. Possibly I've stumbled across whole new sub-genre in the S&M world. I leave you with two possible covers for a book.  Mills and Boon meets 50 shades of dentistry? Invent your own titles folks!